We all know how 2020 went — disastrous, chaotic, and heartbreaking.

It started last March 2020 when I had no choice but to give things up. Supposedly, I have an event to launch and a Filipino concept store to build. But the pandemic has gotten out of hand, so the government imposed a strict lockdown two weeks before my event date.

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I tried to divert how I felt by spending more time with my N&N’s. Tried different cool and trendy recipes, finished book novels, clean the house, and other usual things at home. But the more I hid it, the more I had sudden panic attacks and outbursts.

TBH, my social enterprises are more than just earning money. These are advocacy-driven brands established to solve the pain points of local micro-entrepreneurs. The mere fact that we’re an advocacy brand, we’re not solely focused on earning but building a network, connections, and helping people with their respective livelihoods which leaves me financially drained.

I nearly lost everything. Refunds from suppliers are still pending as of date, used personal money to cover business expenses, and halted operations to cut further losses. I’ve eaten up a sum of my savings so we can survive our daily lives. Akala ko hindi na ako makakabangon. It has taken a huge toll on me, that I tend to always cry whenever I’m alone and my heart aches all the time.

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It took me several months before I decided to take a courageous leap. I applied for a full-time WFH job, started doing freelance projects again, and pivoted my physical store idea into E-commerce (still needs a lot of work this year, hihi!), became an Official Young Living Distributor, co-founded another social enterprise called Angkat PH and opened a small homebaked online shop.

Sounds a lot, right? It isn’t. I’m still recovering.

I’m utterly grateful for my husband. If not for him, we won’t be feeling comfortable at home today. We still have some hiccups before I can finally say we’re back to square one, but with God’s grace, I know we can make it and rise back again.

Despite all these things that I went through, God has given me blessings in disguise that I can finally see now. For me to understand my path and fully grow, I had to let go of people, toxic situations, and memories that hinder my growth. I’m still getting there, but trust me it feels GREAT!

If you’re like me, feeling lost about what to do next and how to survive another day, know that you’re not alone and take it slowly day by day. Meditate, pray and channel yourself again away from your doubts and fears that are stopping you to come up with solutions to your problems.

2020 is a year of shedding off, knowing your divine truth, and a true eye-opener. 2021 is about getting out of your cocoon, bounce back, and RISE again.

How about you? What’s your One Word for 2021? Comment your story below.